Four Everyday Practices to Build Trust

by Judy Rathwell | Oct 15, 2024 | Communication, Habits, Influence, Respectful Workplace, Trust

Four everyday practices to build trust

As a leader (and as a person), your most valuable resource isn’t your money. It’s not your title. It’s not even your time. It’s trust.

Trust is the currency of relationships. It determines how much we’ll risk. Hard conversations, innovation, and healthy cultures are impossible without it. While earning trust pays dividends, it’s gradual work built on a foundation of a thousand little decisions.

Whether you’re leading a team, family, or other community, there are four simple practices you can leverage to boost your trustworthiness.

1. Align your words and your actions.

“I want to empower you,” “I trust you,” “I care about you,” and “I will fight for you” are among the most meaningful words you can say—if your actions say the same. When your actions don’t align with your words, you unintentionally practice a form of betrayal. You communicate that your words are empty.

Credibility is laid on the foundation of consistency.

Growth in this area will look different for each person. Maybe you’re prone to overpromising and need to simply bite your tongue. Maybe you need to commit to better recording and documenting action items you’ve agreed to. Maybe you need to allocate time or resources toward helping your team solve significant problems. Or maybe you need to take time to privately or publicly own a mistake.

Creating alignment between what you say and what you do is the essence of integrity. And integrity is essential for trust.

2. Focus on elevating others.

There’s a rule in improv that goes: “Make each other look good.” This saying captures a commitment to helping others succeed, joining in when they take risks, and actively providing support.

If only it were the motto everywhere else, too.

When you are committed to making those in your care look good, you communicate safety. Look for opportunities to highlight the contributions of those you lead. Speak highly of them privately and publicly. Draw attention to their success. Notice when an opportunity matches their skill sets, and invite them into projects or promotions they’re well-suited for.

These kinds of practices prove that you’re paying attention. They help your people feel seen. They are actions that say, “Your contributions matter, and I am committed to your good.”

3. Invite feedback on your leadership.

Honest communication is the lifeblood of relational health. It is essential for growth. But open communication is more risky in relationships of unequal power. To get the honest feedback you need, you’ll need to be intentional.

Try asking, “What can I do better as a leader?” or “What is one area you would like to see me grow?” If you’re a parent talking to your kids, you might try, “What is one way you wish I loved you differently?” or “What do you need from me that you’re not getting”

Your response within these conversations is critical. Ask open-ended questions and listen attentively. ?Paraphrase and verify your understanding of the feedback, saying something like, “What I’m hearing you say is ________. Is that right?” State a concrete thing you could do differently. Avoid explaining yourself, and if you have important additional information, be careful not to dismiss the concern in the process of providing it.

Above all, say thank you. Remember: speaking up requires courage. It is a risk. And it’s a service that helps you grow. Welcoming feedback sends the message, “I want to be better. I am open to changing my behavior to better meet your needs.”

4. Prioritize clarity and accountability.

As a leader, your job is to make sure your team members know what is expected of them.

The anger and frustration that mark the onset of conflict are frequently markers of an unmet expectation. Expectations are rarely inherently right or wrong. They can be negotiable. But they must be understood and agreed upon by both parties to be helpful. Unspoken expectations are bound to go unmet.

However, once expectations are clear, accountability is essential. What you tolerate, not what you say, reflects your true standards. Your failure to confront unacceptable behavior communicates indifference to others impacted by the situation. The twin values of clarity and accountability create confidence because they define success and facilitate collaboration.

The best part? Trust spreads. When you leverage these practices, you’re sowing seeds of culture. One in which words have weight. In which making space for others and celebrating excellence is commonplace. In which feedback is welcomed and healthy dialogue is normal. In which expectations do not go unspoken and harmful behaviors do not go unchallenged.

You’re creating a space in which others can flourish and grow. And that is leadership at its best.

Source: Hannah Williamson, Full Focus

“Your words and deeds must match if you expect employees to trust in your leadership”
– Kevin Kruse

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

10 Ways to Feel Happier, According to Science

by Judy Rathwell | Aug 27, 2024 | Feelings, Gratitude, Habits, Productivity, Stress Management

10 Ways to feel happier according to science

More than a feel-good state of mind, happiness is described as a “fundamental human goal.” It comes with myriad benefits, including improving our health and even helping us live longer. Happier people are also more likely to make decisions quickly and contribute to society by voting and volunteering.

And while happiness can be a loaded subject, with many contributing factors that often aren’t in our control, science shows that there are plenty of surprisingly straightforward things that can help us feel satisfied.

Of course, happiness is not something that happens overnight; it’s a process that’s consciously cultivated with intention and purpose. But if you’re looking to embark on that journey, consider starting with some of these 10 science-backed tips.

1. Set a Regular Exercise Routine

Prioritizing movement is a popular tip when it comes to increasing happiness — and with good reason. Exercise is shown to ease anxiety, increase life satisfaction, and boost serotonin levels, which helps combat negative feelings. Even lunchtime walks are shown to “improve enthusiasm, relaxation, and nervousness at work.” Still not convinced? This report about walkable cities found that when someone swaps long commutes for a walk, “their happiness increases as much as if they’d fallen in love.”

2. Prioritize Your Sleep

We’ve all likely experienced firsthand the intertwining relationship between sleep and happiness. According to Harvard Medical School, “poor or inadequate sleep can cause irritability and stress, while healthy sleep can enhance well-being.” Additionally, a 2018 study found that those who had quality sleep experienced greater life satisfaction.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends a minimum of seven hours of sleep for adults and suggests a number of tips to sleep better, such as removing electronic devices from bedrooms and waking up and going to bed at the same time every day (even on weekends).

3. Embrace Family Routines

Family dinners, regular play outings, and reading time are all common components of family bonding, and studies show these routines have a lasting influence. A 2014 study found that family-centered routines are associated with higher social-emotional health in children, along with an increased sense of belonging and security. Another study showed routines help families build resilience, which is linked to happiness.

Whether you’re a kiddo or an adult, WebMD also notes that establishing regular weekly routines helps reduce stress, boost health, and better prioritize downtime and rest.

4. Build (and Maintain) Friendships

Friendships are powerful — in fact, some research shows they may be even more important than familial bonds as we get older. The author found that family and friend relationships were linked with better overall health and happiness. However, as people aged, the link only remained “for people who reported strong friendships,” Time reported.

How many friends do we need for maximum happiness levels? According to a CNBC interview with Eric Barker, author of Plays Well With Others, people with five or more close friends feel 60% happier than those without the same number. And individuals who view their manager as a “close friend” are more than twice as likely to enjoy their job.

5. Share Kindness

Kindness can change our brains, literally. The Mayo Clinic explains that kindness boosts our serotonin and dopamine, two neurotransmitters that allow us to feel satisfaction and pleasure. Other research has shown that when people fully engage in acts of kindness, the acts are linked to reducing anxiety and depression.

Eager to reap the rewards of kindness? You’re in luck because one study showed that even performing acts of kindness for just one week created a boost in happiness.

6. Practice Mindfulness Through Meditation

If you struggle with slowing down, a meditation practice is shown to be a deliberate way of cultivating more mindfulness, which is associated with a sense of purpose in life and higher happiness levels.

Psychology Today explains, “Monitoring your ongoing experience may make you feel happier by helping you slow down to appreciate things or to notice more of the happy things that are going on around you. You may begin to pay more attention to the trees and flowers, enjoy the feel of the sun on your skin, or bask in the warmth of your partner’s or child’s loving gaze.”

7. Know and Use Your Strengths

Instead of focusing on weaknesses (we’ve all got them), celebrate your strengths. By identifying your strengths and leveraging them, you can increase your self-awareness, improve your relationship with yourself, and boost your happiness, per Psychology Today.

While strengths can certainly include skills you’d put on a resume (language skills, specialties, etc.), they can also be your unique qualities, like love of learning, kindness, curiosity, and hope, to name a few.

8. Express Gratitude

Harvard Health puts it simply: “giving thanks can make you happier.” In the 2021 article, a study is cited that showed people who wrote a gratitude list were happier than those who wrote about daily irritations. Similarly, a group of participants who wrote a letter of gratitude to someone for their kindness showed immediate boosts in happiness, “with benefits lasting for a month.”

If you want to express more gratitude, consider writing a thank you note, keeping a gratitude journal, or starting a gratitude meditation practice.

9. Smile!

Sometimes the key to a brighter day is simpler than you may think: turning the corners of your mouth up and showing a smile. Science shows that you can actually trick your brain into feeling better by smiling. How? When we smile, dopamine and serotonin are released in the brain, which in turn can boost your mood. However, if the idea of forcing a smile isn’t your thing, consider putting on a TV show that makes you laugh, call someone who puts you in a good mood, or think about a joyful memory.

10. Set Achievable Goals for Yourself

Did you know that simply the act of setting goals can increase your happiness levels? It’s true, according to a study by the University of Basel in Switzerland that showed psychological well-being can improve when you have goals that seem attainable to you regardless of the outcome. Power of Positivity recommends starting out with smaller goals and building from there, as little steps can make big goals less intimidating and more actionable.

Source: Marika Price Spitulski

“We do not only need to work happy, we need to work at being happy.”
– Shawn Achor

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

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5 Steps To Develop More Discipline

by Judy Rathwell | Dec 19, 2023 | Decision-making, Habits, Productivity

5 steps to DEVELOP more discipline

You might be surprised to learn that it’s simply focusing on a result you really want. In this sense, the key to discipline is goal setting.

Whether you’re naturally a disciplined person or not, goal setting is a skill you can develop using these five steps:

Step 1: Determine Your Goal

The key is in knowing what you really want. If you are going to succeed in whatever’s important to you, you first need to know where you’re going. You must be specific, and you need to be able to see it. Write it down, and, while you are at it, add a “by when” date.

Here’s an example: I will lose 10 pounds by December 31.

Step 2: List Your Reasons

This is often the missing piece in both goal setting and discipline. You have to ask, Why is this goal important? What is at stake in my achieving it? You can list both the positive reasons and the negative.

Examples:

I want more energy.
I want to lower my cholesterol.
I don’t want to put myself at risk for heart disease.
I want to look more trim, especially on video.

Step 3: Identify Likely Obstacles

As soon as you start swimming against the current, you will start feeling resistance. It’s as if the universe is testing you to see how serious you are about succeeding. That’s why you have to anticipate these obstacles and build strategies to overcome them.

Examples:

Obstacle: Mindlessly eating what I always eat for lunch.
Strategy: Plan my lunch before I leave the house—where and what I will eat.
Obstacle: Inability to work out on the road.
Strategy: Make sure the hotel has a workout room before I book it. Also, pack my workout clothes and shoes.
Obstacle: Eating more calories than I intend.
Strategy: Record everything I eat. What gets measured improves.

Researchers call these strategies implementation intentions. And they work.

Step 4: Develop New Behaviors

This is where you should focus. What are the positive, new behaviors you want to develop to replace the old, negative behaviors? It’s not enough to decide not to eat junk food, for example. You’re going to want to snack on something. So what are you going to do about it?

Examples:

Drink 2.5 liters of water a day to stay hydrated.
Eat healthy snacks, like raw almonds, celery, carrots, and so on.

Step 5: Stay Focused

Read your goals daily, review your reasons why, anticipate obstacles, and work on your new behaviors. If you get off track, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and two steps back. The trick is to shake it off and re-lock on your goal.

You might also consider changing your strategy to get there.

Examples:

If I injure my ankle and can’t run, I could switch to swimming.
If I can’t get traction on my own, I’ll research and hire a personal trainer.

Discipline is not really about willpower so much as focusing on what you really want. If you get clear on that, it suddenly becomes much easier.

Source: Michael Hyatt, Full Focus

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment”.
– Jim Rohn

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

Agile EQ Edition

Everything DiSC Agile EQ doesn’t just measure a person’s EQ. It provides a foundation for improving EQ by focusing on observable behaviors that are measured by DiSC.
Agile EQ helps learners understand their emotional responses by using both the language of DiSC and a new concept called Mindsets. The Agile EQ Mindset map helps learners recognize what behaviors are associated with the different mindsets(below).

5 Questions to Determine if a Meeting is Essential

by Judy Rathwell | Jun 28, 2021 | Decision-making, Habits, Newsletter, Productivity

Your days are full, and it can be hard to get everything on your list done. You were finally making progress on a task when your focus is disrupted yet again with a meeting reminder. You don’t know how you’ll finish what you need to do today, and it’s probably going to be yet another waste of time. Is this just the way things are, or is there a better way?

According to The HR Digest, professionals lose an average of 31 hours a month on meetings–which adds up to approximately four workdays, or a total of two months per year. That’s a lot of disruption, particularly if those meetings aren’t actually yielding much. The problem isn’t just an overabundance of meetings; it’s that so many of them turn out to be bad meetings. But you don’t have to settle for bad meetings that disrupt your work and kill productivity. Great meetings are possible with a little bit of forethought. Let’s look at one of the first steps in that direction: determining the necessity and nature of a meeting.

Here are five filtering questions you can use to coordinate essential meetings:

Is this meeting necessary? There’s a well-known piece of literary advice for writers: “kill your darlings.” That is, don’t get too attached to the storyline, especially if it doesn’t serve the bigger picture. The same is true for meetings. It’s too easy to get caught up in a series of meetings that don’t matter. Keep the high-leverage ones that support important goals. Eliminate the rest, and your team will thank you.
Are you sure you’re necessary? Too often, we blindly accept the never-ending barrage of meeting invites. It’s natural to think our presence in a meeting is always necessary, especially if we were invited. But that’s not always true. Guard your schedule, and only say yes when you truly need to be there.
Who else should be involved? If you’re organizing a meeting, think through who absolutely needs to attend. Remember, smaller groups can align more quickly to drive a decision. Relevant information can be shared with the masses later through an email or project-management update.
What type of meeting do you want? Consider ahead of time the type of meeting that will help you accomplish your goals. Establishing this early on will keep the purpose clear and the conversation from meandering, so your time will be productive.
What’s the right format? Historically, in-person meetings have been the norm across businesses. But nowadays, we’re all meeting virtually in some capacity, and in-person meetings are no longer the default. It takes intentional thought to determine what’s best for your team, and what format will work best for what you’re trying to achieve. If that’s in-person, great. Otherwise, your preferred video-conferencing app works great too.

Take control of your meeting habits. Routinely ask yourself, Is this meeting necessary? If not, be decisive and eliminate the meetings that don’t matter or that inhibit your productivity. Make the best use of your team’s time and resources by focusing on the high-leverage stuff, and you’ll start seeing less frustration and better results.

Source: Michael Hyatt & Co. Blog

8 Quick Tips to Dodge Burnout

by Judy Rathwell | Jun 15, 2021 | Continuous Learning, Executive Leadership, Habits, Newsletter, Stress Management

To perform their best, leaders must nurture their minds and bodies.

Twenty years ago, the sudden emergence of ESPN’s daily poker broadcasting sparked global debate. How does card playing merit coverage, given the absence of spherical objects and sweaty high-fives? The emerging consensus that cards, chess, and spelling all qualify made sense to me only when I returned to the dictionary. Merriam-Webster defines an athlete as “a person who is trained or skilled in exercises… requiring physical strength, agility, or stamina.” Like chess, leading change requires stamina and takes a toll physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Leadership’s daily demands create a high-stress work environment. In a December survey, 76% of workers reported burnout. These challenges are especially prominent among leaders, and even pre-date the pandemic: school principals, for example, are nearly twice as likely to experience stress symptoms than the general population. Managing change daily on tight timelines requires nonstop communication, often with overstretched team members and stakeholders. The work requires the pace of a sprint for the duration of a marathon.

For both athletes and leaders, sustaining performance throughout an intense season requires careful planning and consistent execution. For their part, leaders need good mental acuity and energy to support decision-making. Leaders benefit from a comprehensive plan that parallels the holistic benefits of an athlete’s support system.

These 8 strategies create the foundation for optimal leadership performance:

1. Be clear on your priorities.

Fulfilling a leadership role requires clear vision not only for the organization but also for yourself. What is most important in your life? What do you want to drive toward, and why? How do these priorities compare with your role’s goals? Alignment between what your personal mission and your daily professional experiences is essential for fulfillment and for preventing or mitigating burnout.

2. Fuel your mind and body.

What you eat directly impacts the quality of your thinking. Intentionality here is especially important, as high stress levels can lead to cortisol hormone spikes, which increase appetite and emotional eating behaviors. As a school leader, I often skipped meals due to a busy schedule and forgot to drink water; on other days, I chose to eat something on the go. Processed foods are low in nutrient density; consuming foods dense with nutrients — such as seafood, eggs, nuts, seeds, fruits, and vegetables — and sufficient water is essential for brain activity. Slowing down lets your body absorb the nutrients in your food. If you make time to sit, connect with other humans in a relaxed environment, and chew your food fully, your brain serves you better.

3. Exercise sustainably.

Athletes must move their bodies to promote recovery and strong performance. Leaders typically fall short in one of two ways. Many don’t move enough; twenty minutes of light exercise can trigger the release of serotonin, which makes you feel more focused, emotionally stable, happier, and calmer. The movement need not be extreme: walking helps you think, improves your mood, and helps you sleep better.

If you have developed an exercise habit, evaluate whether it is supporting your goals. When an intense fitness class leaves you nauseous, exhausted, or injured, how does that help you? High intensity work, in fact, can promote brain fog. Is that actually what you want to do before your strategic planning session? The ideal is somewhere in the middle. A balance of resistance training and aerobic work appropriate for your capacity and skills will best support you. Strength training has been found to improve sleep and cognition and to alleviate anxiety and depression.

4. Sleep.

For all humans, sleep is one of the most important things you can do, yet most Americans don’t get enough. Being underslept correlates with poorer decision-making and health. The really hard part is that, when you’re sleep deprived, your brain does not realize how sleep deprived it is. Take steps to ensure you are getting the sleep you need. Wind-down routines leading to a dark, cool bedroom help you bring your best self the next day.

5. Balance work and rest.

It’s important to think about balancing work with rest and recovery, both in the short and long term: day, week, month, year. Most people enter unsustainable professional stretches, whether driven by a new project, understaffing, or significant disruption to work conditions. The rate of work at these times must be balanced by rest in order to avoid burnout. Periodic pushes may be unavoidable, but they must be balanced with rest and recovery. Don’t throw yourself out as the starting pitcher every day all year. Build a full bullpen by empowering your team around you. There’s a reason why leagues track player minutes and throw counts precisely. You have to periodize to avoid overuse and burnout. Conventional schedules allocate time for you to rest: use your nights, weekends, and vacations to unplug and recover.

6. Regulate your emotions.

Athletes are able to regulate their emotions to bring out their best performance. Emotional stability brings out the best performance in you and your team. Practicing mindfulness, noticing your emotions in the moment, breathing, and building awareness of specific emotions all support your ability to lead. After practicing these strategies for your own emotional health, consider creating pathways to support your team in doing the same. Cultivating a space in which people feel safe to continually improve starts with you.

7. Learn.

Elite athletes stay on top only by getting better each day. Modern teams have improved in recent years by drawing upon new sources of information, such as video and data analytics. Leaders, too, must intentionally seek out ways to learn. Dedicate time to reflect daily on what went well and what didn’t. Actively solicit feedback from your coach and your colleagues, and show your team how you have incorporated their opinions. Creating a culture in which your team learns starts with you.

8. Build habits and routines.

40% of our behaviors are habitual. Busy schedules do not allow for daily conscious choices in prioritization, rest, nutrition, movement, learning, and emotional regulation. Building consistent routines in each of these domains is essential to bringing your best each day. In the long run, consistency outperforms short, intensive bursts.

We receive and internalize complex messages about our bodies and our work. Optimizing for leadership performance requires aligning professional and personal visions with habits. As with professional sports, leading change requires discipline around the clock to maximize your results.

Source: Leading Well, Leaders as Athletes

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