7 Lessons For Embracing Imperfection

7 lessons for embracing imperfection 

Hello all,

This is Dr. Laurie Santos, your professor for The Science of Well-Being.

I hope your 2025 is off to a great start. Remember, research shows that the start of the new year is a great time to make a fresh start. And in the spirit of a happier 2025, I’m excited to share that a new season of my podcast, The Happiness Lab, just launched. We’re kicking off this How-To season with a topic that I struggle with a lot…. How to Be Imperfect. This week, author Oliver Burkeman shares his top 7 lessons for how to embrace imperfectionism. You can listen here: https://apple.co/40jews0.

So many of you have gotten in touch to say that what you love most about my podcast is the practical advice that you get from the show. That’s why, over the next few months, we’re going to make getting that practical advice even easier. For the entire new season, we’ll be bringing you an essential series of “How To” companion guides— ones that we think will make your life much happier in 2025. And I’m excited to share the first one with you right now: “How to Be Imperfect: 7 Lessons for Embracing Imperfectionism.” 

How to be Imperfect: 7 Lessons for Embracing Imperfectionism

Tip #1: You just gotta do things. Don’t get stuck in that perfectionist fantasy planning phase. Just dive in and get going.

Tip #2: Fight back against productivity debt. You don’t need to justify your existence by getting through some huge to-do list.

Tips #3: Remember that there’s a cost to information overload. Resist the urge to stockpile all the knowledge possible.

Tip #4: Reject the urge to “whole-ass” stuff. Shoot for 80% and remember the benefits of what Oliver calls scruffy hospitality.

Tip #5: Let the future be the future. There are lots of bridges we’ll cross when we get there.

Tip #6: Follow the reverse golden rule. A little self-compassion goes a long way.

Tip #7: Don’t bring a perfectionist attitude towards imperfectionism. Remember that baby steps are often the way to go.

Here’s to a happier 2025!

Source: Dr. Laurie Santos

“Imperfection is the new perfection”. 
– Hina Khan

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

Your Colleagues

In the Your Colleagues section in Catalyst, users can:

  • Learn their colleagues’ strengths, when to pull them into a project, and what stresses them out
  • Compare preferences and tendencies across a range of workplace behaviors using the DiSC model
  • Gain access to tips that help them work better together in a variety of situations

Many Catalyst users review this section before heading into a meeting or kicking off a new project with a coworker.

4 Steps to Become More Self Aware

4 steps to become more self aware

Self-awareness has been linked to increased creativity and confidence, better decision-making and communication, and improved self-control. 

Additionally, a 2022 study determined that self-awareness protected the working memory against the adverse effects of chronic stress. And research from 2015 showed the trait was of particular benefit in the workplace, finding that self-awareness was positively associated with job-related well-being and could be improved through training. 

Being in tune with yourself is especially important when it comes to your relationships with others. “By being self-aware, we may actually leave people feeling more comfortable, leading to a far more prosocial and healthier social environment,” clinical psychologist Ramani Durvasula told The Washington Post. “I actually think that self-awareness would change the world overnight if everyone could practice it.”

Big words. So how do you practice it? 

1. Ask the Right Questions

The distinction between being self-aware and being introspective is important to know. Though the terms are sometimes used interchangeably, they aren’t one in the same. Introspection is the examination of one’s own thoughts and feelings — and when done ineffectively can actually be detrimental. 

In Eurich’s research, she was surprised to find that people who introspected were less happy, more stressed, more depressed, more anxious, less in control of their lives, and less happy in their work. 

But understanding yourself does require looking inward and asking questions. To do so in an effective manner, focus on asking “what” instead of “why.” 

“The more we ask why, the more we ruminate,” Eurich explained at a National Institutes of Health seminar in 2019. “Instead of asking, ‘Why am I stressed?’ ask, ‘What alterable patterns can I find in my stress? Instead of asking, ‘Why am I unhappy?’ perhaps ask, ‘What upsetting situations can I avoid?’”

She continued: “‘Why’ questions draw us to our limitations; ‘what’ questions help us see potential. ‘Why’ questions can depress us and make us emotional. ‘What’ questions help us to be more logical and action-oriented … and help us move forward.”

2. Try Taking Personality Assessments

Another way to start seeing yourself more clearly is through the help of personality assessments. Similar to asking yourself questions, tests like these can reveal information about who you are and why you do the things you do.  

The iNLP Center offers 12 multiple choice questions that probe your level of self-awareness in 10 different areas and may inspire you to narrow in on opportunities for personal growth. Others you might consider are the Big Five personality test, 16 Personalities, and Project Implicit, which can help illuminate unconscious biases and associations.

These kinds of assessments are not meant to definitively tell you who you are, but to aid you in discovering that yourself. 

3. Hold a “Dinner of Truth”

What better way to learn about yourself than to ask the people who know you best?

It may sound utterly terrifying to poll your loved ones on how you can self-improve, but if you can pull through the initial anxiety and discomfort — and resist the natural inclination to respond defensively to their commentary — you’ll be doing yourself a great service. 

One way to do this is for those in your inner circle to provide general feedback about how you interact with them. Another (even more terrifying) method is referred to as a “Dinner of Truth.”

Recommended by Eurich, who borrows the concept from communications professor Josh Misner, a Dinner of Truth involves inviting someone with whom you’d like to improve your relationship to a meal, cocktail, or coffee, and asking them one specific question: “What do I do that is most annoying to you?”

“The first time I did this, my friend said, ‘I love you in person, but I hate you on social media,’” Eurich told PsychCentral. “It helped me to see things I hadn’t seen before, feel more empowered, and improve my relationship with this person. Any time we’re vulnerable with the people we love, we have a deeper connection.”

4. Reevaluate 

Per psychologist Tchiki Davis, founder of The Berkeley Well-Being Institute, self-awareness isn’t a static trait. So remember to continue checking in with yourself periodically. 

“Both ‘self’ and ‘awareness’ change over time,” Davis told Nice News. “In other words, what we believe to be the self or identity changes as we move through life. And, what our awareness focuses on changes as we move through life.” 

“Thus, self-awareness is an ever-evolving process and can mean very different things to people at different stages of development.” 

Source: Nice News

“We are not who we might have been or who we would like to be. We are exactly who we are.”
– Eric Maisel

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

DiSC Management

Management on Catalyst uses Everything DiSC to provide insights about an individual’s personal management style while also providing tips on how to improve the following management specific skillsets:

  1. Directing & delegating
  2. Creating a motivating environment
  3. Developing talent
  4. Managing up

Everything DiSC Management on Catalyst will guide managers with specific tips on how to perform these tasks with anyone on their team. The DiSC Management tips on Catalyst are unique because all of the information is personalized to the user. The insights provided are dynamically customized based on a user’s personality style.

Is Your Leadership Style a Motivator or Morale Destroyer?

Is your leadership style a motivator or morale destroyer

There is no right or wrong leadership style. Every leader has their own unique voice and their own individual approach to people and projects. However, it is important to realize that different styles may work best at different times, and to achieve different purposes.

While being genuine is an essential part of leadership, you must learn to adapt your leadership style as the business environment, team members and goals change around you. Any leader, even a highly collaborative one, uses a range of different styles at different times – even, perhaps, in the course of a single day.

The different leadership styles fall into five basic categories:

1. Authoritative Leadership

Authoritative, or autocratic, leadership works best when a team needs strong direction. This type of leadership identifies the challenges ahead and focuses the team on a common goal, yet allows individuals to decide how their efforts will get the desired end result. Authoritative leadership doesn’t work if the team members are more expert than the leader because you can’t be authoritative on a subject where you lack deep knowledge and experience.

In an era marked by rapid change and uncertainty, authoritative leadership can be particularly effective in driving swift, decisive action when navigating crises or pivoting business strategies. However, with the increasing value placed on collaboration and innovation, leaders must balance authoritative decisions with opportunities for team input, ensuring that employees remain engaged and motivated despite top-down directives.

2. Coaching Leadership

This style of leadership is most effective when employees are receptive to change and learn. The coach does just what the name implies: Helps employees grow and learn. This leadership style focuses on long-term personal development as well as job-related skills. Coaching is least effective when an employee is defiant or if the leader lacks proficiency in what they’re trying to teach.

Coaching leadership is best applied when performance or results need improvement. When using this style, your goals should be to help others to advance their skills, build bench strength and provide a lot of guidance. This can be especially helpful when faced with challenges around reskilling and upskilling, like when a team needs to adapt to new technological advancements.

3. Coercive Leadership

Coercive leadership is also called transactional leadership and is the most directive of the leadership styles. Think of it as the “do what I tell you right now” style. Coercive leadership should be used sparingly because it stifles creativity and enthusiasm. However, this style works well if the building is on fire, a teammate is out of control, or the organization requires an immediate overhaul.

Coercive leadership is best applied during a crisis or during a period of significant change.  A manager might also employ this style when a business unit is not operating profitably due to wasteful practices. However, as organizations increasingly prioritize innovation and employee engagement, over-reliance on coercive tactics can hinder creativity and morale. Leaders must know when to deploy this style to stabilize situations without stifling the organization’s culture.

4. Democratic Leadership

It’s easy to understand what democratic leaders do: They let their team have input in decisions and share their ideas. Democratic leadership works when the team needs to feel ownership in the plan or goal.  Everyone is given a seat at the table, and discussion is relatively free-flowing. This leader will synthesize all the available information into the best possible decision. Since this style is time-consuming, it should be avoided if a deadline is imminent or employees don’t have the expertise or experience to offer helpful advice.

Democratic leadership is best applied when situations change frequently. This style offers a great deal of flexibility to adapt to better ways of doing things, but it can be somewhat time-consuming to make a decision in this structure. With the rise of remote and hybrid work environments, democratic leadership has gained prominence as it encourages team involvement and fosters a sense of ownership, even from a distance.

5. Pacesetting Leadership

Think of this style as lead-by-example leadership. Pacesetting leaders set high expectations and demand quick results. It works if the team is already motivated and skilled at their jobs. Used too much, pacesetting leaders risk burning out their team and depressing innovation. It also doesn’t work when training or coaching is needed.

Pacesetter leadership is best applied when a business or department needs quick results from a group that is already highly motivated and competent.  There is no time to learn on the job or teach someone a skill with this leadership style. However, with the increasing awareness of the importance of mental health and employee well-being, leaders must be cautious not to push their teams too hard.

How to Choose a Leadership Style

To determine which leadership style fits a given situation, you must first know what your team needs for the task at hand. Analyze your team’s and your strengths and the needed results, then flex your leadership style to fit the end goal. For that reason, being conscious of both your own style as a leader and those of others you hire can be crucial to keeping your organization on the right track.

And, while it’s easy to say you should change your leadership style to fit different teams, employees and situations, it’s not that easy to do. Spend some time thinking about what you think your default style is, and consult a trusted colleague or mentor to ask if they agree.

Questions to ask yourself: How do I behave under stress? Do you find yourself asking others for opinions or do you tell everyone what to do? Which leadership style seems most comfortable to you?

From there, it will take more time to discover what best motivates your people in which circumstances.

Eventually, you will create your own leadership style, one that is authentic, balanced, adaptable, visionary and best leverages your employees so that you all achieve great things.

Source: Lisa Jasper, Insperity

“You don’t have to hold a position in order to be a leader.”
– Henry Ford

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

Group map

The main feature is the Group map. Similar to the group map and poster available through the Group Culture and Group Facilitator reports, the map shows everyone’s dot location and their icon from Catalyst. This tab also shows the group members and their priorities and this list can be filtered by primary DiSC style. The “more info” link will take you to the “Your colleagues” comparison page with that person.

Groups Video

 

 

Mastering Productive Team Conflict

Mastering productive team conflict

All great, lasting relationships will encounter conflict. While conflict often carries a negative connotation, especially in the workplace, it can lead to growth when handled productively. Far from being a sign of team dysfunction, healthy conflict within teams can be a catalyst for innovation leading to stronger relationships.

To foster productive conflict within a team, trust must be established. When there is trust, conflict becomes nothing but the pursuit of truth, an attempt to find the best possible answer. By productive conflict, we mean debate that’s focused on concepts and ideas but avoids mean-spirited, personal attacks.

1. Encouraging Constructive Conflict

When we acknowledge that conflict can be a force for good, we open ourselves up to new ideas and perspectives. By speaking up for our beliefs, considering the thoughts of others, and confronting issues, we can push ourselves to reach new heights of success. Developing the habits mentioned here will further help contribute to productive debates within teams.

What Productive Conflict Looks Like on a Team:

  • Voicing opinions
  • Seeking out teammates opinions
  • Confronting important issues
  • Exploring everyones ideas

However, having productive conflict on a team can be challenging due to fears and concerns that may hold us back. It’s crucial to be aware of these fears so we can start to overcome them. For example, some team members may be afraid that conflict could damage their relationships with their colleagues, so they may avoid challenging the status quo altogether. Recognizing and addressing these common fears is essential for getting to the best ideas possible.

Fears That Can Hold a Team Back:

  • Damaging relationships
  • Appearing overly critical
  • Anticipating negative feedback
  • Disrupting the status quo

2. Taking Action to Build Productive Conflict

Productive conflict doesn’t just happen overnight. It requires active listening, respect for differing viewpoints, and a shared commitment to common goals. Team leaders play a pivotal role in cultivating an environment where team members feel empowered to express their opinions. By promoting open communication leaders can help their teams harness the power of conflict for better decision-making. Certain habits significantly aid in establishing productive conflict practices. For example, glossing over differences can lead to future problems. When all opinions aren’t expressed, teams may lack full commitment and buy-in to decisions.

Top Ways to Develop Productive Conflict:

  • Solicit the views of more reserved teammates
  • Keep the focus on ideas
  • Resist the urge to sweep things under the rug
  • Collect emotions before responding

By engaging in productive conflict and tapping into a variety of perspectives and opinions, team members can confidently commit to a decision knowing that they have benefited from everyone’s ideas. Remember, productive conflict isn’t about personal attacks or animosity. It’s about robustly discussing concepts and ideas, pushing boundaries, and ultimately creating stronger teams. When productive conflict is treated as a crucial aspect of team culture, it drives the group towards achieving greater success and fulfillment in their endeavors. So, let’s encourage healthy debates and harness their power!

Source: Five Behaviors

“Leaders do not avoid, repress, or deny conflict, but rather see it as an opportunity”  
– Warren Bennis

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

Everything DiSC Productive Conflict

Everything DiSC® Productive Conflict increases learners’ self-awareness around conflict behaviors, helping them effectively respond to uncomfortable and unavoidable challenges of workplace conflict. 

Rather than focusing on a step-by-step process for conflict resolution, this learning experience combines the personalized insights of DiSC® with the proven science of cognitive behavioral theory to help participants recognize and transform their destructive habits into more productive responses.

Productive Conflict Video

5 Steps To Develop More Discipline

5 steps to DEVELOP more discipline

You might be surprised to learn that it’s simply focusing on a result you really want. In this sense, the key to discipline is goal setting.

Whether you’re naturally a disciplined person or not, goal setting is a skill you can develop using these five steps:

Step 1: Determine Your Goal

The key is in knowing what you really want. If you are going to succeed in whatever’s important to you, you first need to know where you’re going. You must be specific, and you need to be able to see it. Write it down, and, while you are at it, add a “by when” date.

Here’s an example: I will lose 10 pounds by December 31. 

Step 2: List Your Reasons

This is often the missing piece in both goal setting and discipline. You have to ask, Why is this goal important? What is at stake in my achieving it? You can list both the positive reasons and the negative.

Examples:

  • I want more energy.
  • I want to lower my cholesterol.
  • I don’t want to put myself at risk for heart disease.
  • I want to look more trim, especially on video.

Step 3: Identify Likely Obstacles

As soon as you start swimming against the current, you will start feeling resistance. It’s as if the universe is testing you to see how serious you are about succeeding. That’s why you have to anticipate these obstacles and build strategies to overcome them.

Examples:

  • Obstacle: Mindlessly eating what I always eat for lunch.
    Strategy: Plan my lunch before I leave the house—where and what I will eat.
  • Obstacle: Inability to work out on the road.
    Strategy: Make sure the hotel has a workout room before I book it. Also, pack my workout clothes and shoes.
  • Obstacle: Eating more calories than I intend.
    Strategy: Record everything I eat. What gets measured improves.

Researchers call these strategies implementation intentions. And they work.

Step 4: Develop New Behaviors

This is where you should focus. What are the positive, new behaviors you want to develop to replace the old, negative behaviors? It’s not enough to decide not to eat junk food, for example. You’re going to want to snack on something. So what are you going to do about it?

Examples:

  • Drink 2.5 liters of water a day to stay hydrated.
  • Eat healthy snacks, like raw almonds, celery, carrots, and so on.

Step 5: Stay Focused

Read your goals daily, review your reasons why, anticipate obstacles, and work on your new behaviors. If you get off track, don’t beat yourself up. Sometimes it’s three steps forward and two steps back. The trick is to shake it off and re-lock on your goal.

You might also consider changing your strategy to get there. 

Examples:

  • If I injure my ankle and can’t run, I could switch to swimming.
  • If I can’t get traction on my own, I’ll research and hire a personal trainer.

Discipline is not really about willpower so much as focusing on what you really want. If you get clear on that, it suddenly becomes much easier.

Source: Michael Hyatt, Full Focus

“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment”. 
– Jim Rohn

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

Agile EQ Edition

Everything DiSC Agile EQ doesn’t just measure a person’s EQ. It provides a foundation for improving EQ by focusing on observable behaviors that are measured by DiSC.
Agile EQ helps learners understand their emotional responses by using both the language of DiSC and a new concept called Mindsets. The Agile EQ Mindset map helps learners recognize what behaviors are associated with the different mindsets(below).

6 Things to Consider Before You Delegate Work

6 things to consider before you delegate work 

The best leaders are masters at delegation. Why? They know how to empower their teams to get work done. But it’s not only about getting work done or knowing how to share tasks in the best way. It’s also about creating an environment where employees are proud of their work and can call it their own. These are the critical pieces to learning how to delegate work effectively.

What Is Delegating?

In short, delegating is allocating the right work to the right people. Delegating work is about sharing a task and decision-making responsibilities to increase others’ commitment, accelerate results, and build capability.

The delegating leadership style, one of the four leadership styles covered in the situational leadership model, is about managers sharing authority and responsibility with their employees.

The Cost of Not Delegating

The reluctance of leaders to delegate carries a steep cost. As leaders take on more work, they get overwhelmed and stressed. They may even burn out completely and quit. 70% of leaders surveyed under the age of 35 report feeling used up at the end of every day, with rates even higher among women and minorities.

At the same time, their team is likely also frustrated. They don’t feel like they’re contributing enough, nor do they have the authority to do their work as they see fit. They’ll likely end up disengaged or start polishing up their resumes for another role.

What to Consider Before You Delegate Work

Delegation has to go beyond simply assigning a task. It has to be done thoughtfully, with the right balance of direction from the leader.

Here’s what to consider before you delegate work:

  1. What’s the desired output? What will the completed task look like? How will you judge whether it is completed well or not?
  2. What’s the importance of the task? How important is this assigned task to the team? How important is this assigned task to the company?
  3. Are you delegating authority appropriately? What key decisions will need to be made during the project? Will the person or team have the authority to make critical decisions?
  4. To whom should you delegate the work? Who has the skills to complete this work? Who has the motivation? Is there anyone who might be interested in the work that you haven’t considered before? What are the benefits to the person completing this delegated task?
  5. What’s the method of sharing work? Will you have a meeting to generate ideas or to define the task further with the person? What is the delegation process? Have clear expectations been given?
  6. How will you assess the results of the tasks you’ve delegated? How will you give feedback along the way? How will you ensure that the criteria is clear for what success looks like?

If the leader is struggling to answer these questions, then they should re-evaluate if the task should actually be delegated.

Source: DDI, 2023

“Delegation is not about micromanaging, its about trusting others to do their best work”. 
– Unknown

Did you know this about disc?

DiSC is an assessment that aids with effective communication

Your Group

This fun, interactive feature helps teams work better together. By combining DiSC with actionable group insights, teams build cohesion while adapting their behaviors for optimal performance. Learners can create multiple groups, plot members on a DiSC map, and shed light on team dynamics that influence results.