When and How to Say “No”

Learning to say “no” is one of the most challenging, yet useful skills you can develop in both your personal and professional life. Here are a few reasons why:

  • conversationAcknowledge that you cannot do everything. When you say “yes” to everyone, you leave yourself trapped with little time. Saying “no” will give you more time to focus of existing obligations and important priorities.
  • Remember that “no” is not always a negative thing. When you say “no” to extra requests, you are actually saying “yes” to a reasonable workload. The alternative often means burying yourself in hours of extra work and fretting over deadlines just because couldn’t turn someone down.
  • If you are worried about meeting expectations or finishing on time, be upfront and say “no”, rather than over-promising and under-delivering.
  • Realize you cannot please everyone and that you have to draw the line somewhere. If you say “yes” to everything, people may be more likely to take advantage of you.
  • Beware that people who say “yes” to everything often become overly stressed, run down, and frequently sick as a result of overcommitting.
  • In many cases, saying “no” can instantly relieve stress and make you a happier person overall.
  • Saying “no” to temptation can help you stay on the track and achieve your health goals.
  • By saying “no”, you open the door of opportunity for others to step up and get involved or do their part.

Here are a few tips on how to say “no” gracefully:

  • Be firm, calm, and polite.
  • Provide a brief explanation of why you cannot do something.
  • Do not apologize too much. Just give a simple response.
  • Consider offering alternatives, such as “I do not have time to work on this until tomorrow, but <NAME> said she has some free time today if you need it right away.”

Remember, saying “no” to one request will often allow you to say “yes” to others.

7 Personality Traits of a Great Leader

Article courtesy of Success Magazine

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, as a manager, as a parent. Leadership has been referred to as the great challenge of life.

downloadWhat’s important in leadership is refining your skills. All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here’s how:

1. Learn to be strong but not rude.  It is an extra step you must take to become a powerful, capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength. It’s not even a good substitute.

2. Learn to be kind but not weak.  We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness isn’t weak. Kindness is a certain type of strength. We must be kind enough to tell somebody the truth. We must be kind enough and considerate enough to lay it on the line. We must be kind enough to tell it like it is and not deal in delusion.

3. Learn to be bold but not a bully.  It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you’ve got to walk in front of your group. You’ve got to be willing to take the first arrow, tackle the first problem, discover the first sign of trouble.

4. You’ve got to learn to be humble but not timid.  You can’t get to the high life by being timid. Some people mistake timidity for humility. Humility is almost a God-like word. A sense of awe. A sense of wonder. An awareness of the human soul and spirit. An understanding that there is something unique about the human drama versus the rest of life. Humility is a grasp of the distance between us and the stars, yet having the feeling that we’re part of the stars. So humility is a virtue, but timidity is a disease. Timidity is an affliction. It can be cured, but it is a problem.

5. Be proud but not arrogant.  It takes pride to win the day. It takes pride to build your ambition. It takes pride in community. It takes pride in a cause, in accomplishment. But the key to becoming a good leader is being proud without being arrogant. In fact, I believe the worst kind of arrogance is arrogance from ignorance. It’s when you don’t know that you don’t know. Now that kind of arrogance is intolerable. If someone is smart and arrogant, we can tolerate that. But if someone is ignorant and arrogant, that’s just too much to take.

6. Develop humor without folly.  That’s important for a leader. In leadership, we learn that it’s OK to be witty, but not silly. It’s OK to be fun, but not foolish.

7. Lastly, deal in realities. Deal in truth. Save yourself the agony. Just accept life like it is. Life is unique. Some people call it tragic, but I’d like to think it’s unique. The whole drama of life is unique. It’s fascinating. And I’ve found that the skills that work well for one leader may not work at all for another. But the fundamental skills of leadership can be adapted to work well for just about everyone: at work, in the community, and at home.

The Power of Positive Feedback

thank20you20post20itMany business leaders miss a key opportunity to recognize great work and provide positive feedback. Why is it so easy to see what’s not working and so hard to celebrate when people get it right? Recognizing team members will not only enhance your organizational growth; but also helps retain great employees. Regardless of business size, correctly given; recognizing others early and often can help improve job performance, promote professional and personal growth, and ultimately increases overall morale. Here are some tips to help you along the way

  1. Never hesitate. Share encouraging words often and loudly.  Believe it or not… It is often worth more than money.
  1. Make it public. Constructive feedback can be given privately. Recognition is often more powerful when given in public.
  1. Be specific. Focus on exactly what was done right. We all know it is easy to call people out when they do something wrong, but what about calling out people when they do something right?

Positive feedback goes along way to growing and reinforcing any relationship. And, like smiling, it cost nothing.

Feedback Do’s and Don’ts

Feedback Do’s

  • Be Specific. What did the person actually say or do? Was the statement or action was effective or ineffective?
  • When offering developmental feedback; provide or seek alternatives the person can use in the future. Discuss why the alternatives might result in enhanced performance. Provide support, but allow responsibility for developing to remain with the person.
  • Provide feedback on both the “what” and the “how”. What are the results?   What did the person say or do to achieve or not receive the results?
  • Think of feedback as a learning opportunity that can lead you and others to better performance.
  • Listen with full attention to the feedback people provide. Focus more attention on understanding their perspectives and suggestions than on defending your action or behaviors.
  • When receiving feedback, ask for specific examples of what you did well and what you could have done better.
  • Watch for trends in behavior to focus on high-payoff development areas.

Feedback Don’ts

  • Don’t assume you are the only and best source of feedback. Encourage people to seek feedback from peers, internal partners, customer and other leaders.
  • Don’t give vague feedback or feedback that cannot be supported with data or examples.
  • Don’t say someone did something well when you don’t believe it.
  • Don’t guess at someone’s motives.
  • Don’t become defensive about your actions.

Feedback – What Works and What Doesn’t?

Do you like receiving feedback? How do you prefer to get feedback?

Think of a time when someone gave you helpful feedback. How did the conversation go? What did the person providing the feedback do to make it a productive conversation?

My guess is that you appreciated feedback that was:

  1. Timely – We tend to be more willing to accept suggestions that are timely. When we face difficult or challenging situations, we usually want to know how we are doing, and what we can do to develop. On the other hand, no one wants to hear what he or she could or should have done long after the fact.
  1. Balanced— I am sure you appreciated getting some positive feedback as well as suggestions for development.
  1. Beneficial— We think of feedback for development as information that helped me be the best I can be, not just comments that pointed out a performance problem.
  1. Sincere— The most effective feedback that I ever got was from someone that I knew really cared about me and took the time to share specific changes that I could make to be more effective.
  1. Engaging—They encouraged me to take responsibility for my own growth and learning by actively creating an environment that constantly helped me seek feedback from my leader, peers, and customers.
  1. Ongoing— Feedback shouldn’t be a one-time event. For top performers (like us!), ongoing feedback can address new challenges and achieve success FASTER!

Now, flip it and think of a time when you received feedback and you got defensive… why did that happen? How was the message delivered?

Next steps: Take 10 minutes to create your own list.

First, think about the best feedback you ever received and model that style. Then, think about what not to do… and don’t do it.

Believe me … it’s easier said than done.

Simple Ways to Use Recognition to Power and Reinforce Success

With so many ways to recognize people for their contributions, we need to mix it up.  Avoid getting stale and keep it engaging. As effective as it can be, this might go beyond a simple “thank you.”  There are many ways to recognize people. You will find many ideas laid-out below.

General Approaches to Ensure Effective Recognition

  • Be timely–Recognition that has the most impact is timely and comes in close proximity to when the performance happened.
  • Be specific–Share specifics related to the accomplishment by telling the person what was done and why it was effective.
  • Link the recognition–Mention the specific performance or behavior that you want to reinforce.  It is important that people know why they are being recognized.
  • Avoid multi-tasking when you talk with employees–Especially when the discussion is about their accomplishments and contributions.
  • Make recognition a set agenda topic–Place recognition on the schedule during team meetings.  Make sure the recognition is meaningful or it will start to have no meaning.
  • Reward effort as well as success–Not everything is successful. Reward people for the obstacles and barriers they overcame or fought against.

Oh, Let Me Count the Ways to Recognize

  • Leverage the customer–If a customer says something good to you about your employees or a project. Invite them to share in-person or remotely with your team, particularly the people involved.
  • Utilize social networks–Post recognition on social networks. Before you use an outside site, check first to make sure it is company approved.
  • Grab It–Start building a supply of token gifts, such as candy bars, protein bars, etc.  Place them in a box, or grab bag. When you recognize someone, let the person reach in and grab something, sight unseen. Add to the fun by mixing in coupons.  For example, give coupons for a free lunch, or one  item from the vending machine.  If it works in the environment, you might even be able to wrangle a coupon for the parking space next to the door, or an opportunity to leave the facility an hour early.
  • Match the reward–The significance of the achievement should match the reward. The larger the accomplishment, the more significant the reward should be.
  • Make the recognition public–If others can learn from the accomplishments, or the employee would feel a greater impact from sharing the recognition publicly, by all means, don’t keep it a secret.
  • Chalk It Up–On a chalkboard, white board, parking lot, or driveway, write a message of appreciation.
  • Flip It Up–Write a thank you on a flip chart paper. Post it in the hall or on the person’s car.
  • Snack out–Supply the team with healthy snacks and juices for a week.
  • Get Symbolic—Find something that has meaning within the group to pass around.  Use a super-hero for the person who really came through on a project.  Or the “rock” for a person who has been impeccably dependable.
  • Make them laugh–Support a local artist or an art student by asking that person to draw caricatures of your employees during their break/lunch hour and display them in your facility.
  • Create a traveling trophy— Select an unusual item to use as a recognition award. The person recognized can display the trophy for a select period of time. Or the awardee can recognize someone within the team and pass it on. Consider an item that each recipient can autograph before it travels on.
  • Write a thank you note–Deliver this note to your employees’ spouse or children.
  • Spread the news–Place employee recognitions on your intranet. Share the news with higher-level leaders, or in a team management meeting.  Arrange for your team or a member of your team to present an innovation or continuous improvement idea that has worked in your area to other facilities.
  • Perform a service–Take somebody’s laundry to the dry cleaners or wash the employee’s car in the parking lot.
  • Gift it–Create a basket linked to an individual’s interest. For example, if a person like to garden, create a basket with some gardening tools, a gardening book or magazine. If the employee likes to fish, put in a thermos, some fishing lures, etc.
  • Swap a task–Do another employees duties for a day. Let him or her decide.
  • Nominate the employee— Pick various employees for either a company or community award.
  • Provide points–Set goals for employees. If an employee reaches a goal, let them turn in their accumulated points for prizes or awards.
  • Create a space–Create a celebration board in the break room or team area. Post recognitions and thank-you notes. At a periodic meeting, count how many notes are on the celebration board.
  • Take the person into consideration–Don’t give a book to someone who doesn’t like to read.  Avoid public recognition for someone who tends to get embarrassed.  Tailor your form of recognition to meet the individual’s needs.